The Speech That Wasn't - 16th May, 2015

It’s a beautiful day, and I'd like to start by talking about...snow! Remember how we thought it was never going to go away? That we would be stuck with these hulking mountains of snow, and forced to live like that forever? And then two weeks ago,  as I was walking to class in Olin, I realized how just how little was left. While I was busy cursing at it, juggling a thousand different things in my life, I hadn’t even noticed that the snow had almost all disappeared. Thank goodness.

And, just like that, while we were busy battling crazy long case studies, internship interviews, weekly quizzes and job searches, our time at Babson has also  melted away.

Today we all enter a new Season together. Hopefully, this is Spring, and it is here to stay. It is time for every single one of us to bloom.

Babson has changed me irrevocably. My two years here were  the first time I left home, the first time I have lived anywhere outside of my home country. I am not sure what I came here looking for, but I know I leave with more than I could ever have imagined. More knowledge, more experience of the world, an expanded skill-set, a larger network, a lot more friends, a mountain of memories, and a greater insight into myself, my own strengths and weaknesses.

But most importantly, I think I have seen at Babson what may be the means— at least A means-- to world peace. Or as close to it as we can get, at least!

In these two years I met hundreds of people from all walks of life. I met, and fell absolutely in love with: the Peruvians who mothered me; the American Jews who  messaged me their support every time something went wrong back home; the Christians from a number of countries who are among the most caring people I know; the atheists who showed me  respect and were phenomenal friends; the  Indians who took me for ice cream when I was down, and stayed at the hospital with me over night, even with a final the next morning; the Chinese who became among my most valued friends.

I found that Latin American culture is very like my own in terms of gender roles, and that mothers everywhere are as involved in their kids' lives as Pakistani mothers; that kenyans eat the same bread as I do, and also call it the same name - chapati, and that there was no way for me to differentiate between a gay person and a not-gay person. I found that every person I met was a Good Person.

I met students from an infinite combination of  backgrounds -- religions, nationalities, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic background, and every. single. one. of them was a Good Person.

Minute by minute and day by day, every single prejudice I held, whether consciously or unconsciously, melted away—no match for real personal encounters with real people. I became friends with individuals whom I thought I did not, or could not like or understand, because of the “labels” I had consciously or unconsciously applied to them.  Except once I got to know you, I could no longer see the labels.

If every person in the world—if just more people--could have experience like ours at Babson—encounters with others in an environment that respects and nurtures diversity-- I believe we all would be the better for it. The community that exists here breaks stereotypes and barriers every day. Here, gender, religion, sexual orientation, nationality, and race cease to matter. 

You see, Babson has taken away any excuse for prejudice that I could ever have had. Never again in my life can I get away judging a group of people based on a label affixed to them, because they are different from me. And I hope it is the same for you.  

In a world so visibly and tragically consumed by religious, ethnic and other forms of intolerance and violence,  my wish today  for all of us is that the "real" world never strips away this awareness and appreciation of diversity. That we never lose the tolerance, thoughtfulness and sensitivity that we lived with here at Babson. That, along with the hard skills, leadership and entrepreneurship that Babson taught us,  we also use this love and understanding in every single deal, business or otherwise.

37,000 alumni, 114 countries - can you imagine the impact?

I wish you all the best of luck, and an infinite amount of love. "Pa makha de' kha" - May you always be faced with Good. Thank you. 

No More Forevers

Forevers are for teenagers and first loves. Somedays come true with the second loves, or the third, but you've lost forever forever. 

"I have settled all scores this day"

Squander not your ready arrows, my ragged heart is already in bits

Save what stones remain un cast, I am giving up this tainted body

Notify my would-be saviour, alert the files of enemies

For whatever I owed life, I have settled all scores this day.

But place my shroud atop my forehead so my murderers may assume not

That in death I have forgotten the foolery of love at its most arrogant.

There, a single word persisted; Here, I had a million reasons,

You heard not a word I said, and erased everything I wrote.

Where I stood, I was immovable as the mountains, when I moved I surpassed life

Oh, the path to my beloved - on every step I created memories.

(Translated by me, with my apologies to Faiz)

Na ganvao navak-e-neem kash, dil-e-reza reza ganva dia
Jo bachay hain sang samet lo, tan-e-dagh dagh luta dia

Mere charagar ko naveed ho, saf-e-dushmana ko khabar karo
Woh jo qarz rakhtay thay jaan par, woh hisab aaj chuka dia

Karo kaj jabeen pe sar-e-kafan, mere qatilon ko guman na ho
Ke ghuroor-e-ishq ka baankpan, pas-e-marg hum ne bhula dia

Udhar aik harf ki kushtni, yahan laakh uzr thaa guftni
Jo kaha toh sun ke ura dia, jo likha toh parh ke mita dia

Jo rukay toh koh-e-garan thay hum, jo chalay toh jan se guzar gaye
Rah-e-yaar hum ne qadam qadam, tujhay yadgaar bana dia

One of my absolutely favorite things to do is to translate Faiz. Haey Faiz. 

A beautiful rendition of this, by Iqbal Bano: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x137h47_iqbal-bano-na-ganwaao-naavak-e-neem-kash_music

Free

Have you ever felt free?

I have lived a beautiful, blessed life. I love my family and friends. I have done almost anything and everything I ever wanted to do. I was presented by great opportunities, and was supported by my family is taking up any that I wanted. I have never been oppressed, never been held back.

But have you ever felt free?

What does that even mean? Of course I was free. I chose my university, I chose what field I wanted to go into. I chose where I wanted to work. I chose whom I wanted to get engaged to. I was never bound in any way. I have always been free.

Just not like this. 

No, not like this. Not the way I feel right now.

I went to school, college, university. Had friends, lost friends, found love, found a job, got engaged, so on and so forth. Just your basic, amazing life. I was extremely happy, very very comfortable. I never wanted it to change. If it were up to me, I'd never have left. But due to one amazing person in my life, I did move, and my life, as I knew it, seemed to suddenly fall away. First came the homesickness, the longing for all that was familiar - and it's still here, because I don't think I'll ever let go of it completely; but then came this heady rush of freedom.

This freedom is not freedom from people, because it was never people that held me back. This freedom comes from within me. It is the realization that the world is huge, and I am infinitesimal. The understanding that what I considered my universe was but a tiny piece of the whole, and for once, the whole is within my reach.

It is a beautiful feeling to be able to look at a map of the world and accept that there is no where in God's world that I can't go, if I try hard enough. I hadn't looked at a map in forever. Why would I, I had no need of it, I wasn't going anywhere. Now when I look at it, I'm fascinated. There is just so much to see.

There is freedom in being able to talk to people from Australia on a boat in Key West. There is freedom in discussing God with a stranger on a bus. There is freedom in standing in the Atlantic ocean and feeling oh so small. There is freedom, and there is magic.

This freedom has a price, though, and the price is loneliness. I wouldn't want a lifetime of this, it would kill me, but for a while, a very little while, when the solitude is still bearable, this freedom is perfect.

"Now more than ever do I realize that I will never be content with a sedentary life, that I will always be haunted by thoughts of a sun-drenched elsewhere.”  ― Isabelle Eberhardt

This blog is my way of capturing what I'm feeling right now to savor it forever. I hope that someday, when I'm back home and at a different phase in my life, perhaps feeling bogged down by a thousand other things, I will be able to recall this feeling of freedom, and remember that it has to come from within. There will always be places to see, all you need is the desire to see them. 

Lessons [Part Three]

I have an ongoing list of things that I have learned in life thus far.
Lessons
Lessons - 2

Here's more:

70. People are very, very similar. And that's awesome.
71. People are very, very different. And that's awesome.
72. You don't need to know how to swim to be able to snorkel.
73. Life jackets are extremely effective.
74. I am very small. My life is very small. The world is very, very big, and extends way beyond my existential crisis.
75. American food is not at all bland.
76. To get a job in a government office, being grumpy and borderline mean is a global requirement. (e.g. NADRA in Pk or the RMV/DMV office in the US)
77. Indians love biryani and associate it with Pakistan.
78. There is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than can ever be done. - Lion King
79. Mexican food is freakin' amazing.
80. Some people will not like you. Even if you try really, really hard.
81. Canada has a horrible visa website.
82. There are a huge number of poor people in the US. There are a huge number of beggars in the US. Here, they're called the 'Homeless'.
83. Latin American culture is extremely similar to South Asian Culture. There are also definite overlaps with Korean culture.
84. When they say this is your 'Last chance for 50% off!', they're lying. There are sales every. single. day.
85. Dim sum is delicious.
86. A lot of people whom you thought were your friends, cannot stand you once you attain some form of success.
87. The western world has no idea what a 'love marriage' is. That's what every marriage is supposed to be.
88. Drunk people are a little scary.
89. When you go to the emergency room, it is not like Grey's Anatomy/ER/Scrubs/House at all. Waiting 3-6 hours is actually considered normal, unless you come in an ambulance. In the emergency room..
90. Most Americans can eat spicy food pretty easily.
91. Cakes will still fail.
92. Biryani also fails. Often.
93. Your true friends are the ones who will eat your biryani happily even when it fails. And praise the taste. Because the taste is what matters.
94. Living alone is really scary, and it changes you irrevocably.
95. Subways are the best ever. You can make new friends there every day.
96. When people question you about your country, you realize how hard it is to answer. Because answering for your whole country is a massive generalization, and not at all true. And you realize that this is how it is for other countries too, and so a judgement passed by anyone on the basis of their nationality, religion, or any 'mass' factor will always remain a lie.
97. Losing weight is extremely hard.
98. Losing people is extremely easy.
99. A successful marriage is not one which does not end in divorce.
100. The art of cooking is overrated.
101. Clubbing is way less fun than I thought it would be. Huge disappointment.
102. Highschool never ends.
103. Being non-judgmental is extremely tricky business.
104. There is a definite lack of empathy in the world now. The value of human life is negligible.
105. Marriage, in general, is a sucky concept.
106. Aunties are fun.
107. Once you start travelling, you don't have a single 'home' any more. You will leave pieces of your heart in every single street you pass through, and you'll miss it forever.
108. The handsomest men will be found accompanying their kids at parks. I'm convinced this has to do with natural selection.
109. When in doubt, eggs.
110. You are responsible for your own happiness.
111. Cleaning never gets easy.
112. Visa application/all sorts of official, document related stuff, is a huge headache and always will be.
113. To get a good job, you need connections, and this is a global phenomenon.
114. Travelling is amazing. Airplanes suck.
115. There is love in the most unexpected places. It makes up for the people who will never like you.

It's all a matter of perspective.

Often.

All over the place

That seems to be my motto when it comes to blogging. I have no idea why but I keep flitting from one blog to the other with no concern for my silent, ghostly, pretend readers. I'm sorry about that. I love all of my blogs equally and I can't bear to neglect any, though this one seems to be the most neglected.

Right now, at this precise moment in time, I am extremely content with life. I am alone in a strange land, but I am also free. I have so much to look forward to, but my present is beautiful too. I am extremely blessed. I feel so happy that I am afraid to share it for fear of jinxing it, or incurring the envy of others. It's difficult to not be paranoid about it. You know how, when you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up? When you feel like you're soaring is when you most fear falling. That's what I feel now days.

But I'm not letting this stop me from being grateful for what I have in this phase of my life. I'm putting it down in words so I can always look back at this. You know I have a propensity to be dramatic every time I get the blues. Thankfully it never lasts, but through these posts I hope I shall always remember the beautiful times that I've lived.

I saw Walt Disney World. I explored Universal, and saw Harry Potter World. I had butter beer for God's sake. I rode on every single ride including all the Disney Princess ones. I experienced crazy water slides for the first time in my life. I traveled in a Red Mustang convertible with the top down across 51 bridges on the ocean. I went snorkeling, rode a jet ski, a banana boat, kayaked and para-sailed. I para sailed over the Atlantic ocean. I swam and floated in the Atlantic Ocean. I don't even know how to swim! I spent whole days just lying on the beach in Miami, reading. I walked for miles and miles and went where ever my heart dictated. I had ice cream every single day. I talked to strangers and smiled at random people on the bus who helped find our destination. I figured out the public transport system in every city I traveled to. I took a bus alone across Florida, and then again from New Jersey to Boston. I sang a horrible song on karaoke at a party on New Years eve. And this was just winter break.

This is what it's been like, when it's been good. There has also been a lot of heart burn and stress due to finance, accounting, operations, economics, etc. You get the drift. Lots of exams, presentations, assignments and crazy amounts of reading. 12 hour days and 12 hour exams. Then coming back home and figuring out what to eat. Grocery runs, getting my SSN and completing tax documents. It's hectic and it's crazy and it's all very grown up.

But it all ties in together to make the whole worth all the work.

Key West, Dec' 2013